A cryptic question? Or 

Indeed the answer (to the infinite question) you have been looking for your whole life?

This last week has really been about taking the next leap and making that internal decision of - do I really want this, and does 'this' look like what I think it does?

Let me explain...

I've been sitting on an egg (stay with me here) waiting for it to hatch (getting clearer?).

I've been on a 'Boom' or 'Bust' quest (aka happy-depression)...going all out when I feel good and then shrivelling into a ball and retreating, hence the sitting on an egg scenario.

I've learned the hard and bumpy way that self compassion, understanding and acknowledgement are very important steps on the journey to liberty.

Does that sound familiar to you?

You see there are several strands to noticing and being able to ask that 'infinite' question - what comes first?

Life is a cycle after all.

So why would the next step, leap or roll be any different?

"To take the step you need courage,

to have courage you need to take the step"

And when you take that 1st step, with courage, and things don't work out...then that leaves a scar, which potentially is not easy to remove...unless of course you re-build that courage to try again, and again - until of course you achieve a success no matter how small.

Now not all of us are built the same and that scar may run deeper than it does with others, and although you have indeed succeeded, the scar, well that can hold you back, or mean you take longer to build courage up to take the next step, and the next and you get to thinking - how may many darn steps do I need to take until I am courageous enough to take on anything?

And then there's the day of the month situation. Like one day your on a super high and you make all these amazing plans, and do extra long exercise, say yes to more etc. etc.  - you get the picture right? So you're exhausted and all those awesome things you created, opted in for, said you would do - well you just haven't got the energy...and then you have even less because you feel like you have let everyone down, and yet again you feel like you are back to square one.

Are you recognising the pattern?

Then, one day you realise you are going around in this repetitive cycle (even though you read all those books right, and your are totally 'awake'). And you may add in some of those techniques (from that book) like setting an intention, making a dream plan and imperfect action - but you miss out some of the very important stuff (the stuff some of those books forget to mention, but are like super crucial to your on-going survival).

Are you still thinking about the chicken and the egg?

Here are my thoughts, in relation to the 'infinite' question and why I related it to the chicken and the egg...

YOU don't get to decide what comes first, but you can choose.

Decision takes thought (and that is the dangerous part), and this is when you can fall into that rumination bit.

So instead of thinking you 'have' to make a decision - choose not to, but instead, choose how you want the next step to feel and create that feeling, this will build courage.

YOU can't make an egg without a mate. (aka support)er... that's a definite!

Connection is the ultimate life necessity of a human being. Being with other super chicks and asking for support - produces a lot of eggs!

YOU are the egg or are you the chicken? Just messing with you there...You see you can't have one without the other. You are the chicken right? because you were born to create - creating inspires us and others to succeed.

YOU can't produce an egg (not a good one) if you don't look after yourself - so show yourself compassion, care and commitment to taking care of yourself before you exhaust yourself - because there ain't no eggs without chickens!! 

Oh and yes - I really want this, and this looks like this right now, and when I've laid that egg - well then it will be another step, another lesson...ready for the next egg to be nurtured, loved and born.

The 'infinite' question answered - who comes first?


Here's to courage and new beginnings xx

Can you relate? I'd love to hear your thoughts! Please Comment below or pop me an email hello@samanthageddes.com x