THE ARENA OR ANYPLACE WHERE COURAGE TAKES PLACE
I’ve had a conversation around this a few times.
There seems to be some confusion as to what ‘stepping into the arena’ looks like. I felt like ‘we’ should clarify this.
Just incase you haven’t read any Brene Brown or heard the Teddy Roosevelt quote that started the conversation, Let me share it with you:
A few years back a lady called Brene Brown, a shame researcher, wrote a book called ‘Daring Greatly’, in it she shared a quote, from Teddy Roosevelt, that had changed her life (quite literally) and was about to go viral and change a few other people’s lives too, here it is:
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."
This quote was incredibly powerful to me too, as is most of the work Brene does around shame and vulnerability. It has allowed me to make sense of a lot of my thoughts around how I speak up in the different areas of my life, something I have fought with on an almost daily basis.
I always thought that ‘the arena’ was a place where you stood up in front of hundreds if not thousands of people or in a public place, on the street, at an event or meeting. I also thought that the people who did this were the kind of people who at school would be one of the cool kids or a complete academic who would be highly valued in their field. I never for one moment thought it was for people like me.
There have been times when I have stood up, spoke up for someone (usually resulting in me being in trouble) but, at the time I didn’t give it a second thought, because there was an unjust act happening. Unfortunately, these times built walls around my courage to speak out and I found it increasingly difficult as I got older, to the point that I wouldn’t say no to most people, regardless of what that would mean for me.
When I started journaling again it gave me an opportunity to explore what my voice wanted to say, but I would keep it private and without realising, at first, how much important ‘stuff’ was buried. And some of it eventually came out.
I found that I had indeed been very courageous in the arena.
My arena didn’t look like a stage or meeting, it was the kitchen or the driveway and sitting in the car on the way to school or club. It was the time I said no for the last time and walked away, it was the conversation I had with a friend who didn’t know where to turn, it was the neighbour who was worried about the council using chemicals on the kerb and it was one of my children sharing about their hard day, and a life lesson that got tucked away for another day.
You see you don’t have to have a big story, spill all of your guts or stand on a big stage. To make an impact on the world you can be anywhere, the only requisite is that you decided there was something important that needed to be said or done, that saved a life or changed a person’s perspective for the good or made someone feel special.
For me it is so important that as humans (the apparent head of all the species on this planet) we take a responsibility to share what we see and feel for the good of all and not to knock someone down or gain ‘status’.
When you share your voice through words, written or spoken, the arena is a place where courage takes place, wherever that may be.
